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 If i have a chance to talk with my self in 5 or 10 years, what will be the first word is? am i happy? how your life now? or anything else that suddenly walk in my mind i always stuck in 3 people in my life, however they begin to be part of my memories. vina and dipa was the best plot i had in highschool, i never knew that someday i'll be friends with them. i know. lot of people come and go in life, that's why there so much people live in this world.  in 5 years from now. am i became the great person? became a girl that my parents have no worries about it? i never knew that tbh am i be good enough for them? for my whole fam? for all of my expectation?  i never truly love my self, in this time i cried a lot zy, i even don't know what i'm doing zy.. i have no person to tell my sadness. at the end, i'm just talking alone with some big wall in front of me. i really hope one day someone will hear me without judging my story and all my worried. 

Hi... in 115 days from now, you will be turn 17th years old. what is your feeling about that zy? waktu itu kamu pernah tanya ke temen2 sekitar kamu, kenapa banyak orang merayakan sweet 17th nya? apa yang spesial tentang berkurangnya umur dan kamu malah merayakannya? dan mereka menjawab karena itu jadi pertama kalinya kita ke jenjang kedewasaan. tapi bukankah semua umur adalah pertama kali dan satu2 di hidup kita? kayak ini kali pertama umurku 16 tahun dan gak akan keulang juga, nanti akan ada 20 tahun pertama ku dan gk akan keulang juga. mereka bilang kalau 17 tahun tuh jadi legal day untuk orang2 punya KTP, SIM dll. but what special about that?  until i realize i'm going to college next year, when i'm turn 17th. mungkin orang2 merayakan 17th nya karena mereka akan melewati masa yang beda dari sebelumnya? zyy, i never realize kalo bakal secepet ini waktu berlalu. bahkan rasanya sebentar lagi adalah bulan desember, dan mungkin bentar lagi sudah tahun depan. waktu memang secepat ...